“When we daily have a measure of effect we want in our lives, the mind assists that to become real. But first, we must clear any obstacles that impair our thinking, and then set up a plan, always allowing for the adjustments that will be needed in as much as we can only see from where we are in the moment. Those adjustments are not set-backs but a larger picture we have not seen yet.” –Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha
I often relay the example of a pilot in flight when I am speaking to a group of fellow recovering alcoholics. It is one that I heard originally from my spiritual mentor and Elder of 25 years, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha, and it provides a way to better understand that even when we map out our course of action for our goals, or even the day’s activities, there are necessary adjustments to be made.
I have learned in association with Grandmother to embrace failure as the path to success. What I encounter from many in recovery is the unfortunate tendency to see failure as something that has to be wrapped in guilt. Guilt serves no purpose. In fact, I see the 12-Steps as a formula for releasing the past and any guilt associated with it, then moving on to living a productive life.
That’s why I love the pilot story. It revolves around two very important and immutable points:
1. The Earth is round.
2. If a pilot attempted to fly a straight line from point A to point B, the plane would end up in outer space. (see point 1. “The Earth is Round.”)
So in order for a plane to reach its destination, the flight path must consist of a series of course corrections. If one were to study a flight plan, they would realize that it really consists of a series of zig-zags from the point of origin to the destination point. Sometimes further corrections are required once the plane is airborne due to weather conditions or other unforeseen developments. That’s where instrument readings within the cockpit and communication with air traffic control become vital.
When a pilot makes those corrections, there is no guilt involved. The “course correction” is merely an objective response to present circumstances. The correction is made so that the plane can stay “on course” to its final destination.
That’s it. No gnashing of teeth – no carrying it around for twenty years or more – just take care of business and MOVE ON!
So life is like that plane ride. We can plan, and should, because goal-setting and mapping out a course of action steps will determine our success. But we need to stay flexible enough to take variables in stride. As Grandmother reminds us, they are not “set-backs” necessarily.
Further, and perhaps most important to the healthy recovery of the alcoholic or addict, we have to be willing to LET GO of the past, as well as any guilt or anguish we have come to associate with it. What was done in the course of the active stages of our addiction is history. We can’t change it. We can, however, learn from it, make the necessary “course corrections” and create a healthier and happier life today.
Always, we must remember that we are part of the greater picture. We are loved. When we hold a vision of the Greater Good of the All, we can embrace the appearance of a momentary obstacle and look for the ultimate greater gift that lies just ahead.
“What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine.” –Oprah Winfrey
©2011 Deborah Adler. All rights reserved. (NOTE: All quotes remain the sole property of the original authors.)
